BLOW ME AWAY

♥Monday, September 14, 2009

To wake up knowing you've got the day
To take on without feeling okay
To make yourself unwilling to sleep away
Sleep away the pain
Don't take off running without my say
Don't pay that price you thought you'd pay
You're got the choice you've got the time of day
Just don't sleep away the pain

-The World Calling by There For Tomorrow

It really had affects me for two weeks. I have been crying in class privately. So that no one will know that I've been crying.I cried again today during english period when my head was down on the table. Thinking and thinking. Reflecting and reflecting. I'm so tensed that Sufi had plucked another white hair from my hair. Two weeks. Two weeks. My learning point for these two weeks is Zarifah is so weak. Although she's a self praised person.

Tell me, how many times I said that I will be really okay and could managed on my own?

I really had it. I want to stopped.Dear parents and teachers or even my friends. Please do not sent me for councelling. I hate councelling. I just don't them to know anything at all although how many times I tried to hide it. The thing is it's heartbroken. I can't sleep thinking what else would reality will give me. Am I such a loser to this world? Wait, maybe my answer is....

Yes, i'm a loser to these world. For these two weeks, to tell you honestly, my smiles were all faked so that I could hide it from everyone. I hate myself right now. I want to turned back time so that I would be happy again. I don't want my uncle to see me how upset I am. It's just that he was a great friend. Who wouldn't be upset to lose a great friend who really understands you.

I'm such a liar. I lost the whole concept stating that I will be okay. But i'm really not.

LOVE,
Zarifah

[6:28 PM]

Missing you all day long