I'd like to make myself believe
The planet Earth turn slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
Cause everything is never as it seems
-Fireflies by Owl City
I felt presence last night.
Althought nowadays, I tend to cry myself asleep while listening to my walkman phone, I did felt presence last night. I got to say it was an angel trying to calm myself to sleep. I know all of these might say it's not true but the thing it's true.
While Akmal was watching Harry Potter I on the other side, was crying until my left hand starts shaking, it could not be stop even how hard I tried it to stop but it still kept shaking. I can't move because I felt some triying to hold my legs really tightly trying to sleep. I don't think it was one but maybe there was two.
It hold my hand while trying to sleep. My hand on the pillow while holding onto someone while on the hand, someone trying to calm me to sleep. Then 5 minutes later, "Akmal someone is holding my hand. "
"It's got to be the nerve."
I really disagree when he said that. I went back to that same position and that person touched my hand again. I remove my ear piece and spectacles and then soon I went to sleep but that didn't end.
For the whole night the presence was with me calming me to sleep and it woke me up to pray. I have to say it was quite shocking but I was really calmed maybe some people I still worried about me on how I behave this days. How do they know i'm still upset? I wonder. I have given up on healing songs as for now but I hope they don't give up on me.
LOVE,
Zarifah
[8:47 AM]
Missing you all day long
Will update really soon. So sorry!
LOVE,
Zarifah
[8:04 PM]
Missing you all day long
I'm not going to post a song or post something like parts of lyrics. I just have a confession to make.
It's a bad confession. Well here goes.
A dead person is dead, no way we can turn back the time.Well i'm currently waiting for my councellor. So I just waut until 2 pm then I can just tell him/her my problems. I've been hiding it for the freaking two and a half months. Can't stop really.
I really don't know whether I should tell or not. Well, I just keep remembering that my friend's alive and he isn't dead. But I do know he's dead...Well, I really dont know.
LOVE,
Zarifah
[1:31 PM]
Missing you all day long
I'm in trouble
I'm so clich
See that word just wears me out
Makes me feel like another boy just
To laugh and joke about
Troube By Nevershoutnever!
Well I've been so busy lately let me tell you lately, i've been very dissapointed at some people, not the people that I went for the student leadership camp but the people who makes tons of promises.
Well, I really don't want to mention who but after the leadership camp there was my cca camp. I was mad at someone who promise to come for the chalet but really she didn't come in the end. I'm really upset up till now. Questions running through my head like "Why didn't she call us that she really can't make it?" Well I do look up to her alot.
After SYF, she has promised us to come back. I think she only came back for the seniors party that's all. I don't know why i'm upst because of these but I have a subject in my mind that I should submit to Reader's Digest, I call it " Teenage Peer Pressure when it comes to promises."
Well, I think I should write half of it first then write the other half maybe tomorrow.Nevermind la, I write it tomorrow.
LOVE,
Zarifah
[9:04 AM]
Missing you all day long
Well Brown Eyed girls and Ft Island are coming to Singapore. So excited. Will write back soon.Promise.
LOVE,
Zarifah
[4:48 PM]
Missing you all day long
Hey peeps!
Today i'm not going to post up anything just a song dedication for you guys. Erm. What song? Since, I've been listening to all korean songs this past few weeks let me dedicate some english song.
Boys and girls-pixie lott
I’m looking in the mirror and
I think I’m liking what I see.
Big, pink lights shining bright, like
I’m on the T.V.
My heart pumps as the bass drum thumps, you gotta move when the floorboard jumps.
Something’s going on and
I think it’s going on right now.
All the boys and the girls they got it going on.
When the beat kicks in you feel it in your bones.
When the basement cracks and the needle drops.
You can’t turn back and you just can’t stop.
All the boys and the girls (no you just can’t stop).
All the boys and the girls (no you just can’t stop).
All the boys and the girls.
I can see the silhouettes dancing up against the wall.
It sure feels good, feels good, yeah we’re gonna lose control.
Turn it on, make it strong, a good beat never hurt no-one.
Kicking up the dust and we’re making every move we know, ye-e-ah.
All the boys and the girls they got it going on.
When the beat kicks in you feel it in your bones.
When the basement cracks and the needle drops.
You can’t turn back and you just can’t stop.
All the boys and the girls (no you just can’t stop).
All the boys and the girls (no you just can’t stop).
All the boys and the girls (no you just can’t stop).
All the boys and the girls (no you just can’t stop).
Wooooh oooh, baby don’t stop.
Wooooh oooh, keep the vibe up.
Wooooh oooh, baby don’t stop.
Wooooh oooh, keep the vibe up.
Turn it on, make it strong, a good beat never hurt no-one.
All the boys and the girls they got it going on.
When the beat kicks in you feel it in your bones.
When the basement cracks and the needle drops.
You can’t turn back and you just can’t stop
All the boys and the girls (no you just can’t stop).
All the boys and the girls (no you just can’t stop).
All the boys and the girls (no you just can’t stop).
All the boys and the girls (no you just can’t stop).
I learnt some korean phrase today.
1- No Kum Jun So Kun Jun (Seriously, spent some money)
2- _____,yam bak! (*someone's name*, you jerk!)
3-Sickera*don't know whether correct spelling*(You're noisy)
4- Nya a par - You're mean
Sorry but I really don't know how to spell but I could pronounce it! Horray!
LOVE,
Zarifah
[8:29 PM]
Missing you all day long
You're on the phone with you're girlfriend,
She's upset,
She's going about something that you said,
She doesn't get your strory like I do,
-You belong with me by Taylor Swift
Ryeowook,SARANGHAE!
I want to write a script because i'm crazily in love with my korean super junior boyfriend, Ryeowook(since that's my favourite from Super Junior)
I would write it in english since I only know hello and I love you in Korean.
Ryeowook: Hello. Are you new here? In korea? Well, i'm Ryeowook.
Me: Oh hello. I'm Zarifah and pretty new around here
Ryeowook:Do you come here with your boyfriend or something?
Me: Nope and still single...
Ryeowook:*smiles*
Me: *Blush*
Ryeowook: Are you hungry?
Me:*nods my head*
Ryeowook:*grabs my hand* Let's eat here.
The Restaurant scene.
Ryeowook:What brings you here?
Me: Erm...actually, I'm here to study about the culture of Korea and really have no clue about it.
Ryeowook: Well, erm, I can show you around cultural places tomorrow...er what would you like to eat?
Me:Kimchi Fried rice and perhaps non alcoholic drink.
Ryeowook: Erm...good choice...I have the same.
Me:*shivers in cold*
Ryeowook:Are you cold? *place his jacket onto my shoulders*
Me:Thanks.
After the restaurant scene
Me: It's time for me to go back to rest.
Ryeowook:Erm okay.
Me:Here's your jacket, thanks by the way.
Ryeowook:*nods and wait until I got in the hotel*
The next day
Ryeowook: Good morning! You look nice in the sweaters and that dress.
Me:Erm, thanks.
Ryeowook: Where do you want to go first?
Me: Somewhere fun. I really don't want to learnt at the moment. I need to have some fun. I'm staying here for like 2 years. There are more time.
Ryeowook: I'm glad you are here.
Me: Oh damn, I can't do it.
Ryeowook: What did you say?
Me:Nothing. Let's continue.
Er that's all I will continue during my free time. Plus I still have to write alot of aritcles to Reader Digest and etc.
LOVE,
Zarifah
[2:50 PM]
Missing you all day long
I'm just a little but caught in the middle
Life is a maze and Love is a riddle
I don't know where to go,can do it alone
I've tried and I don't know why
The show by Lenka
Well, hey peeps! I recently know what to do for the holidays. I have decided to write lots of topic for reader digest. Not for the money but for fun. I know it may sound random but it sounds cool and it's a cool idea to distract me and improved in my reading. Well there isn't any age limit but i'm thinking of a subject. Well my little brother and I have just created one. So let me try to write it first on the blog and let me see what you think.
The effectness of a divorced parents to their children
I know i'm a teenager and divorced is a big life to a child like me. Well I do have friends whose parents are divorced and i'm really pretty upset about it. The questions that I really do ask myself is "What is Love?" What is love is a song by a variety of singers but I could name one that I recognised, it is by a one-man band,Nevershoutnever! Christofer Drew, the singer of the song wrote it because of his parents. When his parents were having a hard relationship.
When I listen to this song, I really do feel thankful that I still do have my parents that does support and raise me but I've been also thinking about other children like me. Well I used to have this friend whom I knew for months but had no clue of what he was going through. Well, I knew he was troubled. He was always looking for trouble. I knew I couldn't help him because there was his friends that are also troubled like him.
Well, his parents remarried and he is currently staying with his mother. Well the bad thing is he has learnt how to smoke, drink alcohol and does not respect his religion. I couldn't believe when he told me this. The first time I saw him is he had this innocent face that he puts on him.
I believe if my parents ever got seperated or divorced, I wouldn't believe in love, loss my trust towards my parents, stress and troubled that would be written all over my face. Well, I do believe that this are what children like me feels when their parents are divorced, unlove and empty from the inside.
Parents who are divorced, I do believe that they will try to fight custody for their children and that worsen the situations. I do have another friend whose parents are divorced but she asked for things. Things that she might think that are love like a new handbag, a new phone and many more but the truth is I don't think that is love because the divorced parents are giving what she wants and not wants as in hugs and kisses.
The effect of divorce also caused the children to have more attention to themselves. An example will be shop-lifting. Although the children are really rich and they could afford it but they still do these because of attention that they want from both parents. They want the love from them because I believe love from their friends are isn't enough for them to complete of themselves.
I was talking about the song what is love by Nevershoutnever!, part of the lyrics is "What is love, I don't know anymore,I used to look up on that love" That tells me alot. The singer who thinks that love is already there but there isn't anymore.
Well, parent's if you are reading this, please love your child like how my parents do because all they need is love from you. Trust me.
LOVE,
Zarifah
[7:14 PM]
Missing you all day long
I know you do it okay,
But I want you to know,
I'm a dick,
I'm addicted to you,
Addicted by Simple Plan
Hey peeps
My new love interest is Super Junior and ShinEE. I know i'm a really horrible person because i've been listening to their songs for weeks. So my favourite person from each group. From Super Junior it will be Ryeowook and Eunhyuk. Well I love them because of the pretty boy face they do have. I don't quite like Heechul(sorry Namira) well because I find his face quite an irritating face if you stare at his face for quite a long time.
Well, today just stay home and just listening to Super Junior and Shinee. Well if Shinee, I love Key and Min Ho. They're so cute. I wish I could just pinch them abit.
Well. Holidays are here and feeling so bored.Damn. I really don't know what to do. Ghessh, what's wrong with me today. I don't even know if I'm angry at one of my best friend. I know the safest thing is just be really honest with her and tell her the truth maybe I should just cool abit and think about it. Well, the truth is I really don't know.
I'm feeling half here and there. Argh!
LOVE,
Zarifah
[4:52 PM]
Missing you all day long
I'm not going to post a song or post something like parts of lyrics. I just have a confession to make.
I'm in trouble
I'm just a little but caught in the middle
Name:Zarifah Aliah Bte Zulkifli
