Stop right there before I show tears
Stop right there before separation comes
So you can't leave, so you can't abandon me and leave
From here on, time please stop
Saying farewell, how am I supposed to be well
How am I supposed to send you away while smiling
I can't do that kind of stuff, I'll pretend I didn't hear it
Don't say anything and stop right there
-Time,Please Stop by Davinchi
I'm not a perfect person but I don't wish to meet with anyone at the moment not even my primary school teachers. As this year came, there seems to be broken friendships among some of my friends and I. Mom, I want you to be home right now. I'm so lonely. I don't want dad. I'm afraid of him.
Truthfully, I don't like to cry infront of my dad because he will scold me if I have cried infront of him. I don't even dare to say a word what had happened at home. If I was even more open to my teachers I would just cry infront of them and my classmates would called me for being so sensitive. My chest hurts so much. Everyday there seems to pressured. Am I sick? Hope not. I have to go through many blood test and so much test.
If there seems to be something with my chest I would not call my grandparents and my friends because I don't want them to treat me like as if I'm going to die anytime soon. My eyes are like damn swollen now, although i'm not crying, i guess? Hope that I would not retain this year. There are few things I would want to do next year.
Next Year:
Pass N levels
Blood donation at least once a month
Get well
Be Healthy as my older brother will be going for his National Service.
This year seems to be the preacious year as my brother before he goes for NS. I would want to spent at least a day with him. I don't want to scare him because I'm kind of weak right now, I don't want him to skip NS because of me. Though, I will miss him so much, this year we will be going to Austraila to have our last holidays together. Well, is it true if you smile, you're perfect? For these year I have tried to be a perfectionist. It's scary though. However I still have to pray that no one will be going from me. No one, if I have to blamed god again, I would punished and hate myself because I blamed him. I love him so much now. He is doing his best to protect my family and me, that's why I love god.
Name:Zarifah Aliah Bte Zulkifli
