BLOW ME AWAY

♥Wednesday, July 28, 2010

If you see me being happy, please suffer
I hope you cry and regret throwing me away

Though I smile, my heart is crying
I hope you're in pain, though I'm suffering more
I'm telling myself I'm happy, and I can be happier
Though I'm trying to lie to my heart, it won't listen

Good person by Tiara

Dearest Mirror,

why are you still crying? Your sadness in the eyes makes me feel so uneasy when I look at you. Do your parents love you? Yes. Then why are you still crying? Please don't cry when I look at you, you look still sad despite being happy or angry.

Zarifah

Here goes again. My mood suddenly hit me. Everything is so bloody. I think it's true when people say, "girl ah don't cry too much you will go blind one day" Don't you think that's stupid everytime when someone says that I tend to cry more. I have cry enough. Aren't tears supposed to be happiness? Mine are like salt. They can be very painful when you put salt on blood.

I'm not looking for attention but I'm just sad now-a-days. It's rather painful when someone go and scold you and make fun of you for no reason. Class, would you give me some space? I do need the class to be quiet sometimes. 34 more days to my uncle's death anniversary. I don't want to be in school on that day but it's teacher's day. It's a force to be in school on that day. Another one more month, to a year.

Uncle, why do I still think that you're still alive?

I suffered for more than alot of grief. Everyday in the car, I would listen to my grandfather's conversation with my mom. Each day, he reads the newspaper he would at least tell my mom that his great friends passed away. Everytime when I listen to that conversation, when will it be my grandfather's next time to face fate? The truth is I don't ever want him to go. If anyone goes in the family, it takes me a long time to recover and I have to go back to square one.

Dear god,

Please don't ever take any of my family away. Take me instead. I love you and my family so much. I don't want to suffer. I love you so much, make my grandparents healthy as always and my parents living in a better life. Please make my two brothers strong and healthy and please love them as much as I do. Please take care of my bestfriends really well, they meant alot to me.

Amin

LOVE,
Zarifah

[4:55 PM]

Missing you all day long